Saturday, 17 November 2012

How much pain is too much?

Hmm.. I don't like when I need to write in English language with my terrible grammar.
Clearly.. most of time when I write in English, that is the first time I am not in a good mood or precisely SAD.

Talking about how much is too much? At times, I am almost to the point of saying. 
" I give up!". Just almost! Not yet! :) I have not say 'this is too much!'

I have so many things in my mind.. when I started writing in my diaries.. my hands got tired writing..I could run out of paper, ink and energy writing..
Based on my entry sudah 3 bulan on 22nd Oct, I should have got my things already but...

No! Not yet! I am not strong enough I guess..S.C.A.R.E.D 
There are many things I could not write here..Those stories are better untold or else you will get bored. :')
(putting smiles on a crying face)

I got no option. I need to get my things today...somehow I have to. He said he is leaving for Australia and will vacant my used to be 'home' by end of Nov.
!@#$%^&(*&^%$#@!! 
Do you think I can't read your game you @#$%&!!?
He knew I ever dream of migrating there. So, he tried to see if I still stand on my ground! I won't change oh my mr.ex... 
I made up my mind.

I am seriously ashamed of my condition..but I bury that feeling deep in my heart. There is nothing to be ashamed. This is me. This is my life. This is my battle. This is my kingdom. This is all I have. If I don't fight for my life, no one will. Besides, I never choose to be in this situation.
Yup.. its a lame statement. All things that happen are consequences of our prior decision.. how are we supposed to know that the decision was not the right one?
I made a big mistake.. I let my guard down. Once! Only once and that's it! I'm done! Beaten to the ground.

Anyway, how am I supposed to fight a guy that is able to lift 200kg alone? TELL ME!! 
(No doubt he could slam me to the wall)

Hmm.. I definitely have no idea what is coming... all I know is;
I've got to be strong. Prepare for the worst, Pray for the best!.

How much more I can take? My eldest brother said : No matter how hard it is, don't give up. Kada Kirosh*.

p/s: Kada kirosh = do not commit suicide.

NOTE: Please be grateful for what you have now my dear friends..


6 comments:

Wen said...

gulp.. this story is kinda freak me out.. arghh... macam mau tau cerita penuh saja sa ni tau... can i? hehee

plain83 said...

Shikari shite kudasai yo Len-chan (nihongo: please stay strong/get a hold of yourself)...I pray for your well being, my friend :)

p/s: douchebags don't deserve second chances, you deserve a REAL man...you can beat this test Len, you can do it! :)

Anonymous said...

cheer up

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFRF_PHryVc&feature=related

-the hell-

Len Inouie said...

Wen: inono dka. baca'o ma ngawi.

Plain: I did it. Thanks for your prayers :)

Oh my....hell is so sweet. :)
That did really cheer me up.

boni kacak said...

awak.. awak kena kuat melawan juga.. macam mana pun, perjuangan harus diteruskan juga.. saya yakin awak boleh.. awak len inouie.. awak seorang gadis yang sangat kuat dan tabah.. saya yakin pada awk :)

Jna marcello said...

love ur self
do good
alwys forgive
harm no one
be positive
;D